-
Value each child as an individual with unique strengths, needs,
interests, and skills.
-
Focus on the child's strengths. Emphasize and
celebrate his "islands of competence."
-
Reject the
child's behavior, but never reject the child. Use affectionate
terms and nicknames when scolding ("Your room is a mess, honey.
Now turn off the TV and make your bed.").
-
Remember that
sincere interest can be more effective and meaningful than
praise.
-
Demonstrate a genuine interest in her
activities, hobbies, etc.
-
Establish realistic,
achievable goals for your child. Anticipate success.
-
Avoid using sarcasm with kids; children with language problems
often misinterpret it.
-
When discussing an issue or a
problem, avoid bringing up past difficulties.
-
Never
compare one child to another.
-
Help the child develop
decision-making and problem-solving skills.
-
Understand
that mistakes are an inevitable (and valuable) part of any
learning experience. Use mistakes as an opportunity to teach and
assist.
-
Divide large tasks into smaller, manageable
ones. This will ensure success, mastery, and retention.
-
Maintain a file of his academic work. Use this to demonstrate
his progress and development when he is feeling down.
-
Encourage him to maintain "collections" (e.g., baseball cards,
stamps, rocks, etc.). This allows him to be the resident expert
on a topic.
-
If she does not participate in team sports,
promote individual sports (e.g., skiing, golf, swimming, martial
arts). This will provide opportunities for success, exercise,
and peer interaction.
-
Communicate your confidence in the
child and in her future.
-
Permit and encourage the child
to follow the normal fads of his peer group (e.g., clothing,
music). This will enhance his acceptance at school and in the
community.
-
Emphasize the positive aspects of her
behavior or performance, even if the task was not completely
successful. Reward direction, not perfection.
-
Anticipate
that the child will have plateaus, failures, backslides,
setbacks, and regressions. Support and encourage him at these
times. Kids need love most when they deserve it least!
-
Look for opportunities to offer him choices to allow him to
practice decision-making skills.
-
Never communicate
disappointment to your child. The disappointment of an adult may
be too great a burden for a child to carry.
-
Remember:
Your child's self-esteem will be determined by the conditional
acceptance that he receives from others - and the unconditional
acceptance that he receives from you. Your child's self-esteem
will be determined by success and progress in four areas:
-
Social (acceptance, friendships)
-
Competence (in a
skill area)
-
Physical (clothing, attractiveness)
-
Character (effort, generosity, etc.)
-
Emphasize,
recognize and reinforce all four areas!
(Source:
education.com)
